Fostering to Freedom
For the first four months
of her life, my mother,
the product of a love affair
between a Budapest governess
and a Czech policeman who
never told her he was married,
languished in an orphanage
until one day…
Roza, dark hair pulled into a bun,
dressed like a simple country woman,
set out on her yearly pilgrimage
to the large Catholic orphanage
after visiting her sister in Budapest.
She slipped into a grey-walled
room filled with white metal cribs
and numerous sleeping children,
each protected by a wooden cross
hanging above their bed.
Roza and Jozsef had already taken
in two boys and a girl, all between
two and five. They were theirs now,
children she could not conceive,
but souls she could foster with love.
Clothed in a black habit, an old nun
entered the room, smiled at Roza,
then pointed to a four-month-old,
their newest arrival. Roza insisted
Jozsef said they could take no more.
The nun informed her the baby,
my mother, could only be fostered
because my grandmother bore her
out of wedlock, then escaped
to America, promising to send
for the child as soon as she could.
Roza approached the iron crib
with metal bars like a prison,
as my mother gazed up at her,
then raised her tiny arms, as if
begging to be released and held.
Leaning over the bed, Roza drew
her close. Nestled in her arms,
the infant smiled and sighed.
Roza recognized a gift from God
and hoped Jozsef would understand.
As the aging, decrepit train
rattled and chugged its way
across the Great Hungarian Plain,
Roza rubbed the infant’s back
and softly hummed a lullaby.
In the village, the child became known
for her intelligence and loving ways.
Roza prayed her real mother would
forget her promise, but seventeen
years later, a ticket arrived to ship
Mama, now called Margit, to America.
Margit cried constantly, unwilling
to leave the only mother she knew.
Her heart breaking, Roza reinforced
her fledgling’s natural instinct
to fly off and fulfil her potential,
convincing her that great prospects
awaited her, as ever generous Roza
shared her gift with the future.
Gifts From a Stranger
My daughter’s two-year-old squirming body
felt heavy in my arms as I wove my way toward
the wooden rocker beneath the trees. I took the seat,
rocking her back to sleep as my cousin’s wedding
music continued to play. Having the reception
outdoors was perfect for those of us with toddlers.
I searched for our five-year-old twin sons
and their younger brother and found them
in the mass of pre-schoolers chasing
one another among two hundred guests.
My husband waved from a group of men,
leaving me wishing I also had someone
to engage in stimulating conversation.
An older man approached me and asked if he
could take the seat next to me. “I am Geza,”
he offered. I smiled. “Margaret. Andrew was
my father.” “I figured,” he said. “You remind
me of Katalin, his mother.” So Papa was right.
I did resemble his mother. I missed him so.
Paul, who recently turned four, ran by chasing
a small dog. “He’s one of yours, isn’t he?” Geza
asked. I was astonished. “How did you know?”
“He looks just like your father at that age. I come
from the same Hungarian village. We were best friends.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. We had much to discuss.
I had never seen any photographs of Papa as a child.
She stared out the door at Janos
waiting
in the cart to take her youngest son
to the train to join her oldest in
America.
Wrinkles, like deep gullies, lined
her face
with age, though she was barely
fifty.
Grasping her rosary, she drew a
shawl
over her black dress and babushka.
Istvan’s death in a mill fire in
America
six years ago dressed her in the
black
she’d wear the rest of her life.
She was slowly losing them all. Eva
and Anna,
three and one, died coughing in
misery
in the influenza pandemic of ’89
when
strong herbs could no longer lower
fevers,
open throats. They passed, having
barely lived.
She screamed over and over,
pounding her heart
as they lowered a single casket
holding both girls.
She cried until she was pregnant
again with Gyuri,
their first son, who joined Istvan
on his last trip
to the dragon belching flames from
its stacks.
Istvan made five one-year trips to
America
leaving her happily pregnant on
four.
Mari and Janos followed Gyuri, the
first.
Then came Erzsi followed by Andras,
the last,
resembling Istvan, morphing into
her favourite.
Now he, too, prepared to leave her
to avoid
the Romanian draft of young
Hungarian men.
His wife would follow soon after
giving birth.
He could give his life for Hungary,
but never
for Romania, given their region as
spoils of war.
Andras approached her carrying a
satchel stuffed
with clothes, his passport, and the
steerage ticket
costing thirty dollars, bought and
sent by Gyuri.
She slipped a black wooden cross
with a brass Jesus
off the wall and shoved it into
his bulging satchel.
Promising to return as soon as he
could, Andras
wrapped his long arms around her
short stature.
She held him for a final time. The flu stole her babies.
Then Gyuri joined Istvan and stayed
after he died.
Mari rejoined her husband in
Canada. Now Andras.
“I’ll never see you boys again,”
she insisted,
reading the future like a Roma
fortune teller.
Andras wiped his eyes. “Erszi will care for you,
Janos will tend the land. Gyuri and I will write
and send photos and money until we
return.”
She only shook her head as if she
had read
Gypsy tarot cards and saw the
Depression,
the ravages of World War ll, the
Iron Curtain,
and even her own death. She had to find the
strength she had used to raise her
children alone.
“Andras!” Janos shouted from the
cart,
“You will miss the train to your
ship.”
She tried not to let him go but go
he must.
He left my grandmother memorizing
his image
as she said her rosary, soliciting
his safekeeping.
On the Wall Forever
We are all there, four generations
grasping the iron railing of the
tour ship
as my parents had on the steamships
that brought them to New York
Harbor
as Hungarian immigrants in the
twenties.
We gasp at the oxidized green
statue
of Libertas, Roman Goddess of
Freedom,
twenty-two stories high, gift from
France
for our alliance in the Revolution,
holding
the torch of freedom, now covered
in gold,
and the book of Law dated July 4,
1776.
Due to Covid, we cannot climb 393
steps
into the crown, but still admire
the face
that Bartholdi modelled after his
mother.
I remember the first time my
parents
brought me to see her when I was
only
eight and they explained how they
cried
at the first sight of her guarding
the
and the freedoms they sought and
found.
All seem so young this misty
morning.
Mama has no grey hair, Papa no
arthritic limp.
Larry and I are still thin and
dark-haired
and our four children, the
neurologist, fine art
photographer, businessman, and
all look as they did in their
thirties. But our
seven grandchildren—the lawyer, the
dentist,
the writer, the engineer, the
cognitive scientist,
the marine biologist, and medical
researcher,
all look as they do today, healthy
and hopeful.
The boat Larry hired for a private
tour before
other tourists arrive, stops and
Mama brings
out the walnut, apricot and lekvar
kolache
she made and passes them around as
Papa
fills wine glasses with his latest
vintage.
We toast the Lady and the couple
who left
their rural villages where they
were only
allowed six years of schooling, and
came
to America to give their
descendants
the chances they never had.
Larry and I bring out our own
contribution,
a Hungarian band who had been
hiding inside.
We tell Mama and Papa it is time to
dance
the csardas. They beam and dance as Papa
swings Mama around, her feet and
dress flying.
Then Papa asks me to dance and Mama
asks
Larry, refusing to listen to his
objections as
she patiently teaches him the
simple steps.
The younger ones watch and try it
themselves,
and soon everyone is twirling to
the folk tune.
My photographer son records it all.
Forced to move on, the boat docks
at Ellis Island.
The younger ones tell my parents to
debark first,
letting them explain how they had
to pass medical
exams and answer questions in the
Registry Room,
now part of the National Museum of
Immigration,
we promise to let them explore as
soon as it opens.
We move to a certain area with a
curved wall
of panels with thousands of
names. Still early,
we are the only visitors at this
hour. I ask
my parents to find their names on
the panels
along the Immigrant Wall of
Honor. They look
shocked, but with the help of their
descendants,
finally find their names and
country of origin.
Papa cries with joy, and Mama
kisses me. Ever
the practical one, she asks my
photographer son
to take a photo to remember. As he
does every
Christmas, he finds a place to set his
camera,
arranges the family, sets the self
timer, and steps
into the group as we smile and
wait. I hear the click
of the camera as my alarm goes off
and I wake up,
still smiling..
Amber Alert in Oswego County
Oswego evolved from the Iroquois
word
OSHWEGA, meaning “pouring out
place,”
referring to the mouth of the
Oswego River,
which flows into huge Lake Ontario.
Oswego county was mainly farm
country
where couples raised cows, crops,
and children
who helped them fight one hundred
fourteen
inches of dreaded snow and ice
every winter.
In the midst of World War 11, the
large
farming families planted Victory
Gardens,
recruited extra boys to help work
the farms
and gathered to picnic on the
Fourth of July.
In 1944, my uncle, aunt, and six
children
arrived with food and equipment for
baseball,
as Papa cooked outside, Mama
inside, sure
my cousins would watch me as she
had directed.
Finally, she called everyone to get
their food,
but found I was not with my older
cousins.
They said folks miles away in Black
River
could hear her shrieks of agony and
loss.
The box phones on wallpapered
kitchen walls
rang incessantly throughout Oswego
county
as news spread of the missing
at the Hungarian’s farm. Police were called.
Celebrations stopped. Carloads of volunteers
filled our yard and lined both
sides of route 2.
Neighbours we didn’t know swarmed
the fields
calling “Mancika,” “Mancika,” over
and over.
They searched both fields and
wooded areas.
Time passed. Light dimmed. People panicked.
Someone mentioned our stream, a
tributary
of the Oswego River. Mama screamed again.
The volunteers, some with hunting
dogs,
pushed toward the stream behind the
barn.
They slid down a steep embankment
to the bed,
flanked by muddy banks and willow
trees.
They never knew who saw me first,
Tippy by my side, sitting on the
bank
making mud pies in an old cupcake
tin,
imitating Mama. Alerted, Tippy barked.
Mama ran toward me, and gathered me
up,
hugging and kissing me as my muddy
hands
encircled her neck. Papa joined us as tears of joy
poured out of their eyes and down
their cheeks.
My parents insisted on everyone
staying
to dance, eat, and drink wine that
Papa made.
A few drove home to bring
contributions
to the feast and their instruments
to play.
The harsh winters drove us from
Oswego county,
but my cousin says they still talk
about the child
who spoke no English and never
understood
why just seeing her made everyone
so happy.
Hi Margaret, Gary Grossman here, wonderful poems, life was hard back in the old country, before vaccines and modern medicine. Our ancestors were strong people.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, Gary. We are so fortunate our close relatives survived.
DeleteWhat stories... I recognize quite a few moments! Lovely read.
ReplyDelete