Wednesday, 12 April 2023

Five Poems by Jodie Baeyens





In My Life

 

I sit under the stars 

Ruminating 

Meditating 

Ping-ponging 

Like an 8-bit game

Back and forth between 

Sonnet 116

And In My Life 

Asking myself 

How many I have loved? 

Most nights I would say, three.

It’s the safe answer.

But on a good night 

When the entire universe

Resides in me 

I would say thousands.

The girl with the pink hair

Waiting in line at the Bursar’s office

And the boy who held my hand in fourth grade 

The girl with eyes so black they were almost blue dancing against me at the club

And the long-haired boy in High School without the nerve to ask 

Each smile on the train

Each glance and look away 

And why not? 

Why doesn’t each of them deserve 

The full force of my love 

For those few moments? 

I loved them all

But what about 116?

If it be error than

No man ever loved 

So error it mustn’t be

And then 

The number drops

To one 

Who is not time’s fool 

My ever-fixed mark 

I sit under the star

To my wandering bark

I ruminate 

I meditate 

Some memories never lose their meaning 


 

When the Muse Comes to Call

 

“Revision, revision, revision.”

I tell my writing students

Like any good teacher will.

 

With prose, it is true.

It is solid. It is the work

That must be done.

 

Poetry—

Poetry is different.

Poets don’t write poetry.

 

Poets wait—

 

Sometimes for hours

With pen in hand

Pretending that there is something

We can do to make it happen.

 

Sometimes

Still and silent

Hoping we won’t scare her off.

 

Sometimes

In the crowded chaos

Frantically trying to grab her whispers.

 

Poets don’t write poetry.

 

Poets wait—

 

For when the muse comes to call. 


 

Angel of Grief

 

On my knees

A weeping angel

next to the bed

 

Prayer position

with no god left

to save me

 

I have released

everything

not meant for me

 

On my knees

weeping

in no man’s arms

 

Alone

I rise

stronger


 

Heart of Fire

(For Mary Shelley)

 

 

Wrap your blackened heart 

In a poem 

You know the one 

 

The one not fully lost 

Like me 

The one not ever found 

 

More than a memory

A thing that can be touched 

That you can never touch

Again

 

And I will carry it 

That blackened heart of yours 

Wrapped in your poem 

 

In my inside pocket 

Or the bottom of my purse 

Safe but forgotten 

 

Until I'm gone 

And all that's left of you 

Your poetry 

Your blackened heart 

 

Are my words 

Dog-eared on bookshelves 

Tucked away in backpacks 

Or open on nightstands 

 

You will be remembered

Not for what you did

Or what you wrote 

But for who you were 

To me 


 

Weal and Woe

 

Sometimes I drink in excess

Though this is not my vice

A glass of red becomes the bottle

By the end of a dark night

 

But my real addiction lies

In people, poetry, and song

Consume each page and inch of skin

Before the breaking dawn

 

And you — my past, my future love

I know you do this too

On more than one occasion

I’ve been this vice for you

 

I’ve been addicted to your eyes

Addicted to your touch

I’ve turned away and back again

From wanting you so much

 

Now you turn from me once more

I accept it with a sigh

Love them all — I know you will

Love me until you die




Jodie Baeyens is a single-mother, poet and teaches to support her writing habit. When she isn’t trying to find the pen she was just holding, she can be found in the forest dancing beneath the full moon. Originally hailing from New York, she now considers herself a citizen of the world because she doesn’t want to admit that she lives in a red state. Her poetry has recently been featured in Door is a Jar and in Peregrine’s Fall Journal. Her forthcoming Chapbook, Conversations We Never Had, was the Winner of the 2022 Vibrant Poet Award. Follow her writing at WWW.Mylifeincoffeespoons.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/Mylifeincoffeespoons.

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