Monday, 4 July 2022

Three Poems by Julian Matthews



You Are Not a Meme

 

There is a meme going around that says,

"You are not the main character in someone else's story,

you are the main character in your own story."

 

I disagree.

I think you are not a character. Nor a story.

This is not fiction nor netflix

nor tiktok nor copycat poppycock

 

Although, I am starting to believe you might be   poetry

I get that few people get you

They are not equal to your complex equation

You are not the sum of your parts, nor are you whole


You are the genie in genius, the us in jeezus
You are a peripatetic prophet of parabolic parables
You have more crossed lines in you than your pierced palms
And your best ones have yet to learn handstands,

 

or test the net in trapeze flips

You are line breaks after the stanza bonanza

allowing space to breathe in    and breathe out

before the breathless triple spin

 

You are a meditation in escapism,

the hypnotic slo-mo tracking,

the pause before the applause,

the joy-maker in a joyless world

 

But you are also tears

crystallizing on your own screen

You click Share and melt into other screens

and the world cries back with you in teary-double-eyed emojis

 

Yet, you are not a meme, nor a loop

of screechy lip-syncs of oh no! oh no! ohnononono!

a repetitive broken record of scratched dreams,

fake filters and cringey "cute" challenges

 

Yet, you are the skip and the ripple,

the pebble in a twirl, a dervish dancer,

soaking up tiny pains in ever-widening concentric circles

'til all this heartache fades and just disappears

 

You are a wave in the time-space continuum,

beckoning us from afar, like an old friend,

greeting every ending with new beginnings, coming

even as you are going

 

Oh poetry, you are not anyone's toy piano,

long forgotten, or gone to parts unknown

 

You are the newly-discovered lost concerto,

here to awaken souls like phantom limbs,

in perfect legatos and lucid crescendos

 

You are the spirited turntable in the corner

that comes to life all of its own

 

A needle

              falls

Do you hear the music?

It's our song

Let's dance



Vesper Flights


(After Helen Macdonald)

I read about how some migratory birds,

crossing vast oceans non-stop, can catch sleep in mid-flight

Just snatches here and there, and only at night Sometimes, with one eye open to prevent collisions

Isn't that how many of us lead our lives?

Under pressure
Trusting the wind to carry us
Letting the air catch our breaths

Maybe, we just need to land and rest a bit

I left the sky because your blue was overwhelming
Yet, I still hear your cawing in the distance
this constant pecking for mealworms under bark
these incessant, annoying tweets on my shoulder
this furious fluttering, poking at my eyes,
sucking my tears up like nectar

I am my own prey now
I tuck my head under my own broken wings
and let these talons dig deep into this unworthy flesh

I am evolving, flightless
I'm more earthed now, a groundling
I'd rather crawl into my own skin than feather this empty nest

Yet, you say, it was always about me. I say, maybe
Happiness is a selfish thing with strings attached
You give in and give in, in order to receive
They take and take and take until we both break

Some gifts are better left unwrapped

They are flying lessons in paper planes
We rise and fall, crash and burn
You fight the flow then eventually learn to let go


Truth, yours and mine, like currents can part in separate

directions
Acts of faith can't be taught, they come late in flight


Being selfless doesn't come naturally to me
I need to find solace in other lost souls first
Only those who seek will be found, they say
But even amateurs can be profound

It may be a while before I can rise above it all,
go high, crest the night sky, shut both eyes
and trust the wind again

Perhaps, I'll meet you there
on mended wings

and a final whispered prayer



Crime Scene

Why oh why oh why oh why America?
Where I come from, schools are temples, education is sacred, our holy ticket out of poverty.
Your reverence for this steely religion is not worth the price.
Your worship at this bloody altar is too heavy a sacrifice.
When all is said and done, you just have too many guns.
Amendments can be amended but wounds from burying children can never mend.
Did you not learn from Sandy Hook?
Does the “right to bear arms” mean it’s salmon season all year round?
Your children are not fish in barrels. Fired at and muzzled forever.
Gutted gutlessly. Leaving congealed entrails on hallowed ground.
Like spent shells. Chalked outlines of miniature gods.
Yellow-taped. Evidence. In ever-expanding crime scenes.
The pandemic claimed a million lives. Not enough?
Massacres were on pause. Now you rewind. Press play.
Same hollow music on endless repeat.
Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers.
You hear shots fired. Sirens. Then silence.
The world hears only the mothers.
Wailing.

 



Julian Matthews is a former journalist based in Malaysia. He is published in The American Journal of Poetry, Autumn Sky Poetry Daily, Beltway Poetry Quarterly, Borderless Journal, CC&D Magazine, Nine Cloud Journal, Second Chance Lit, Sparked Literary Magazine, The New Verse News, and WordsFest Magazine. Link to published poems: linktr.ee/julianmatthews

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