Not Enough Hair on my
Chinny-Chin-Chin
(a Parody of Joyce Kilmer’s “Trees”)
I think that I shall never see
a beard that looks half good on me,
whose chin, when hungry mouth is
full,
will ne’er have hair that you can
pull
though eyes, half-open wide all day,
can’t see through eyebrows made of
hay.
They start within around my chin
and grow without beneath my snout,
but whether I may pout or grin,
a beard, ’tis feared, I’ll live
without.
Birds nest above in greyest hair,
but not ’neath nose in meadows bare.
Desist from shaving? Proven vain,
for beards won’t grow where they’ve
no reign.
Oh growth, how can you be so slow
that even gods can’t make it so!
Desert Deuces For Dessert
(a Fibonacci verse)
Stan
and
Ollie
were jolly
by golly, with each
new mess another fine folly.
When the Dawn Came Up Like Thunder
Old Sol retired early that mid-winter
afternoon.
Chill in the air, he didn’t care; his
warmth another’s boon,
but after his long winter’s nap
beneath a honeyed moon
he crept up on the crack of Dawn a
little bit too soon.
“I told you I have much to do, not
time for much ado,
but no, your ‘Lo! Let’s rise and
shine!’ seems always right to you—
and heaven knows that you arose, just
like you always do—
yet had you cared, you might have
fared far better with your woo!”
Then with a shoulder crisp and colder
than the winter’s morn,
she closed that door and said no
more. His countenance forlorn,
he still must climb the new day’s
shore, another to adorn,
but when his feet met frozen floor, he wished he’d not been born.
Abruptus Interuptus
If rhyming were suspended
by laws evil or divine,
my thoughts would be un-ended
every alternating
Breaking
Up is Hard to Dooby Dooby Do By the Numbers
(17
song titles, 100 words, 8 syllables per line)
Monday, Monday. It’s gone today.
Yesterday seems so far away.
You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’, now
it’s too late, baby—but somehow
I can’t stop loving you and I’m
crying, crying all the time. The
rhythm of the falling rain fits
“Please release me, let me go.” It’s
the great pretender who will learn
smoke gets in your eyes. Don’t return
this diamond ring. Ask, once apart,
“How can you mend a broken heart?”
Bye bye, love. Perhaps someone will
take good care of my baby, ease
your cheatin’ heart—your cretin
heart—
sealed with a kiss with cold remiss.
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