TINNITUS
Noun, ˈtɪnɪtəs, tinnitus: ringing or buzzing in the ears;
mid 19th century: from Latin, from tinnire, “to ring, tinkle”, of
imitative origin
Aeneas clung to mast leaving Troy the helm out of hands hard to have faith in something
faceless, hard not to love something so helpless the offensive Facebook messages on a bus
to Boots the stella-drinking Gammon convinced Covid is a hoax convinced white lives
matter convinced Biden is a Satanic reptilian paedophile pawn the ringing never
stopped concern in the nurse’s eyes otoscope plugs pressed into ears placed
a remote in the palms of Aeneas like an unwanted sword the soundwaves died
as doors closed the same silence of an ocean Aeneas couldn’t hear his lungs implore
oxygen dull frequency high frequency higher frequency no frequency
She reclaimed equipment brought Aeneas from the booth like
a Baptist would a sinner
from water “Have you seen The Sound Of Metal?” Aeneas nodded and knew
leaving the band was leaving a dream that stays after sleep over caffeine and scratches
and questions Aeneas left the beers before Motörhead tapestries the paradiddles
in Black Sabbath sticks haven’t hit skin since and skin forgets, blisters and bruises
and blood and the ringing never stopped a phone call never answered
concussion that never settles something turning people insane
I went to Wetherspoons broke and lonesome in Lancaster;
a Caesar salad and raspberry kombucha to detox the twelve pints of Friday night
while bald builders trade insults like trebuchets with blind eyes to the pain they deny
their toxic masculinity by shy teens smiling at fake IDs.
I sat on platform four, soaked and shaking, knowing nicotine would make cinematic scene.
I heard the accent a mask muffled, inching down the desolate platform (where I take
trains for planes for Dido). He said: “I remember you.” Conversations of Reykjavík,
trainspotters and The Royal Mail leaving lips.
Trains stole attention, and he left me with the question I never asked.
KING CHARLES
SPANIEL EULOGY (INTERLUDE)
Aeneas cried on the phone; his voice
cracked it’s okay, dry with defeat.
Anchises said: “His eyes said:
‘I’ve had enough.’ He went painless,
son.” The same look he left with homeless
Aeneas – those brown-turned-blue eyes,
glazed with cataracts, cries, those matted ears
of chocolate waterfalls, frail bones,
and ‘the breath of a thousand camels’ –
the heart, heavy as the hangover,
an afternoon
of cancelled trains, from Leeds to Lancaster –
the way the sun shone over Long Preston,
listening to Seventeen Going Under –
the way you feel lost after loss:
a beach, a melody, a memory. Crossing
countryside, Aeneas thought now,
I don’t hold you from your fattened belly
but by the edges of old photographs
we never used to appreciate. Packing
bowls and blankets into boxes,
a printed pawprint, a tuft of fur in glass,
Aeneas never got to say goodbye
to his best friend at rest at last.
On Nero Playing A Lyre While Rome Burned
Myth becomes mirror, framed
with obscenity,
insanity,
to see
myself through: the outcast,
calm in the chaos that clasps & kills,
chapters of ash
that
follow flame;
& pain,
the apocalypse,
reflected in an iris
to The Destruction of Troy –
strings sing, & I,
watching the
wildfire,
mad & numb & decent,
begin to
laugh,
where the night
makes light look
more
wonderful.
H. K. G. Lowery is a writer & musician
from Gateshead (United Kingdom). He gained a Distinction in his Masters degree
in Creative Writing from Graduate College, Lancaster University, where he
worked with Paul Muldoon, Paul Farley & Terry Eagleton. The Department of
English Literature & Creative Writing awarded him with the 2021/2022
Portfolio Prize for his “outstanding performance” as highest-achiever in The
Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences. Lowery has been shortlisted for The
Bedford International Award & The Terry Kelly Poetry Prize, & longlisted for The Fiction Factory Flash
Competition. His publications include: An Enquiry into the
Delight of Existence and the Sublime (Austin Macauley
Publishers, 2020), Being and Becoming (Kindle Direct
Publishing, 2021), Death, And Other Angels (Errant,
2022), 9:45 Drama (Kindle Direct Publishing, 2022) & Moonflowers (Aurum
Journal, 2023). To date, Lowery has been published in: Poetry Salzburg, Amsterdam Quarterly, Pennine
Platform, Obsessed With Pipework, Publishers Weekly, Hyacinth
Review, The Ofi Press, Hearth & Coffin, StepAway
Magazine, Dreich Magazine, Granny’s Tea Poetry
Magazine, Train River Publishing, Sylvia Magazine, Patchwork, Wildfire
Words, Lancaster Flash & Disabled Tales.
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