Burlesque
Dancer Retiring
for Scarlett Nopantson
She
getting
out (of) her clothes
for
good
costumes
tossed
on
floor & bed
She
breaks up uniforms
sex
dressed
like a wound
facing
the wounded beautiful truth
out
there
with
her cheap look
dreamed
into being
intimate
as an act
giving
it all away
like
bills under a snap
pried
away from flesh at the end
of
the night
glitter
on protons of pasties
snaking
slay sashay like blood
coursing
between tables
&
packed into spare Kroger bags
Alone
in
we’re
only in it for the money
T-shirt
& no panties
holy
like fishnets
she
shimmies through
worked
over & worked by gaze
She’s
through
$5
– $10 – free
all
comers considered
for
all offers a smile
Like
this post for more
more
to
come please
changing
like wigs
in
the backstage night
from
timeless flow of stage time
to
broken open over quarantine
lights
dimmed with the spots off
many
morning afters like this
wadded
clothes & memories
of
desire
&
need
The
Contract
Small talk being more important
than
booze in holding society together
I
ask everyone how are you?
and
mean it before
getting
transactional – even cops
smashing
me with clubs
It’s
the only way I’ll learn
Dad
never said it but I
can
hear him – he was the silent
type
that made us kids sit
for
hours in a chair as punishment
watching
golf god help us
This
only happens in civilized
cultures
– I say how are you?
to
soften the blow of interaction
everyone
flexing neurotic tattoos
It’s
smart not to talk
to
cops smarter not to talk at all
cool
breeze of swung baton
caressing
my face like Italians kiss
then
we just do business like good
Americans
& leave
Embarrassment of Riches
Tearing into it
like a sloppy rib
this life I’m holding
so gingerly
to keep the whites clean
clothing I mean
& a flimsy trifold napkin
that should be a drop cloth
Fuck it
I chomp down
to the bone
& chip a tooth
smiling through gaps
dripping
marrow
wasted
I lick
the plate
clean
Floaters
Little man in a little boat
ocean as far as I can see
Embryo amid my new yolk
A hair in my brain soup
A loop I can’t follow
without chasing it offstage
My blind spot
Myopia
Speck of dust
on a vast blue window
travelling so fast it pecks
me astronaut helmet
Needle in a haystack
Planet – no – system – no
galaxy wavering in the void
still
lost and losing cohesion
Black mark on everything
a lie always on top
A mystery – a shadow
never quite sure I saw it
or is there something in there
only I can sense?
Tracking the dancer
gliding across my field
so graceful it’s as if
I’m the one moving
she’s frozen in midair – blink
– my stare
The Merwin Way
Must be cold must
be dark remote
always far but no
horizon
suddenly a pin
prick of light so
brilliant it cuts
so close eye
meets eye appraising
gods wearing
humanity by
undressing
each other
both mirror
and valet
so many
admiring
looks
I wrote "Burlesque Dancer Retiring" in the early days of lockdown when a friend was getting rid of their burlyq accoutrement and it was one of the saddest things to me.
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