Mother.
Mother ironed everything in sight
socks, shirts, jackets, trousers
school ties, tea cloths, floor cloths,
they all got thrown into the pile.
Beds were stripped early in the morning
left blowing on the wind
ironed
than replaced on our beds.
Once she washed and dried coal bags to return them to the coalman,
He smiled, said there was no need for that.
All habits picked up from her hard, unsmiling mother.
Mother soaked up the pain for her children
to make them feel good about themselves
She looked at the fly on the ceiling
wondered if it was her father taking the shape of the insect
To lovingly watch over her from a higher place
She often thought her past had come back to haunt her
in all odd manner of imagined ways.
Sometimes I imagine I sense her presence.
and smell her distinct perfume
those times I’m so sure She's there
Sometimes I see her in the corner of my eye
and I get the scent of her cigarette smoke
And don’t be surprised when I turn
And see
that I’m on my own.
I sometimes don't eat my greens
And cut the crusts of my toast
In her honour.
Listen
Beneath my erupting display
lays something quiet and aching
behind these tired eyes
hides an invisible dam
holding back the tears-ready to erupt
almost reaching to the top
just won’t reach- overflow
when asked to do
what causes me distress
I hide my displeasure
behind a deceptive smile
I am feeling pain.
No, friend my grimace is internal
Never shaped by faces about
I don't ignore you
It’s a wall I build
To hide from the world.
Things slipping away.
I try to capture
how silence rolls time
along in slow seconds
I try to capture
the distance in your eyes
the dimple beneath your thin lips
I try to capture
the way your hair
twists and turns
how it glistens
even in shade
how your smile fades
then reignites
when you realise-it has.
I try to capture
how long fingers tap
that nervous song
and I try to capture
that racing heart
that tear falling
All three poems are unpublished but
the poem Mother was entered into a creative writing competition, Holding
It Together Apart, and it won.
Gordon Ferris is a Dublin writer who has lived in Ballyshannon, Co. Donegal for the past thirty-eight years. He has had several poems and short stories published in many publications including, A New Ulster, Impspire Magazine, The Galway Review and Hidden Channel.
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