I biked
to the winter pond
without bait, a hook, or line,
not even a starter log for a fire,
and as I stood at the edge of it
the dead weight of all my wrongs
twisted like an auger to the
bottom
where a cold blue hand signed
Share what’s left of your body
heat.
And when I gripped it, I trembled
at the blossom of hallucination—
a boy in tears lost in the woods
happening upon my bike, the shake
of what was left of my body heat
wrapping around him as he rode
away.
Sometimes when I’m dead
tired and I stop on the shoulder
of the road and cars speed by
I remember Mother
would always admonish me
to be home by supper.
Way back I was biking home
from Wrightsville Beach
and didn’t get any farther
than the other side of the
waterway
and there was no way to let Mother
know
I’m not coming home,
don’t keep supper waiting,
I’ll
never wake up.
On a Sunday
daddy gave me my bike
with the
training wheels and followed me
up the hill
to the evangelical church.
The morning
was already blue and hot
and when we
walked in my red tie had bled
into the wet
splotches of my white shirt.
I now
remember even daddy was military stiff
as a snake
wrapped around the pastor’s neck
and he too
couldn’t comprehend the sermon
delivered in
the twitch of an unknown tongue
and
how he diverted attention to a blackbird
at
the window and how it kept on screeching
until
it gave up the ghost and flew away
as
daddy marched me from the sanctuary.
I
took a wrong turn,
the
dark was coming on,
and
just like that
was
lost in the desert.
Nowhere
was shelter,
a
picnic table
for
spreading my gear,
an
outlet to charge my phone.
There
in the desert of lost,
without
electric, water,
no
signal, nothing to eat,
not
even a mummy bag to keep
me
warm, beneath stars
I
fell dead asleep.
I don’t know where I’ve gone
or how long I’ve been lost
when I turn to pedal home.
Time and distance have blurred
into a mountain of hallucination
until suddenly clear at the range
stands Mother, cooking chicken
and dumplings as my semblance
could be mistaken for the steam.
A china bowl cracks and Mother
senses all is well—I am home
from my lesson at music school
to tell her about my day
and play my clarinet for her.
No comments:
Post a Comment