Absence
I’m at rest, thinking of nothing.
Outside, dark as midnight,
though it’s barely five o’clock.
This makes me sad,
but in a quiet, pleasant way.
I enjoy the short days,
with soup to keep us warm.
Absence makes me feel alive
even as my heartbeat slows.
I’m meditating on mortality,
or maybe wandering
in the shadow of tears.
There’s bad news of course —
an injury requiring surgery.
I have calls to make,
arrangements to secure,
but for now I will let all that go.
I hear the furnace click on,
then someone laughs
in an upstairs room.
Everything looks blurred,
as if I had stood in the cold
too long, looking up at the icy rain.
Another Page
I left before sunup, before coffee
or the sound of many feet
on the wooden steps.
I left another page on your pillow.
All night I thought about your eyes,
how they might see the sky open
like a cave mouth, how birds might
fly
through canyons of cloud and
disappear.
Once I saw a robin hopping
on the grass, with snow in dirty piles
still melting all around.
She turned and stabbed at me
with her glassy black eyes.
I thought about her in the cold
spring.
You were gone then, working with
equations
on the other side of the world.
I have written you another page,
scratched
and scarred with words. Hours passed
as my hand moved. I touched your face,
as though the skin of your cheek
could send messages through the wires of
your life,
and everything I wrote would burn in your
wild beating heart.
Closure
“Closure doesn’t really exist, though.
That’s why we’re always searching for it.”
— Maggie Shipstead, “Great Circle”
It’s a door in the moon, a shadow
that opens to the right touch.
It’s a hollow place in the wall
you find with fingertips, or maybe
the last verse of an old song
scratching its way home on vinyl
as night comes on. You sang it once,
long ago, with friends in a
short-lived
band, all those guitars and drums.
You sang and the world
came into focus as your voice
poured out in a buttery wave.
Next day you were on the bridge
with your cousin,
who drove to the next town
just to feel the wind in her hair.
You bought her a knife,
but she lost it in the rain
when it slipped from her hand.
By then the weather had turned
and you were far away.
There it is, the old moon
with its passages and wires.
If only you could find the way,
if only you could dream a key.
Today the mail came.
There were postcards and bills,
and a message written in code.
Come to the spring, it said.
Drink deep until your memory returns.
Steve Klepetar lives in the Shire (Berkshire County, in Massachusetts, that is). His work has appeared widely and has received several nominations for Best of the Net and the Pushcart Prize. He is the author of fourteen poetry collections, including Family Reunion and The Li Bo Poems.
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