Five Poems by Linda M. Crate

 

i feared: a love unrequited

 

  

rose finch, 

i think of you often; 

more than i would 

sometimes like— 

 

but true love never 

dies and i cannot stop 

loving you, 

 

even if we're oceans 

apart now; 

 

i was afraid to tell you 

who i was or of my love to you 

but you were my Galadriel 

and i thought of myself as a 

mere whisper in your life— 

 

i couldn't dare to ask you 

not even for one  

strand of the sunlight of your soul: 

vibrant, pure, golden; 

 

and i thought the footing of our 

friendship was already uprooting— 

 

i told myself to swallow it all down, 

my co-worker said i should've told you 

all of the intensity and enormity of 

everything i was feeling, but i told her 

i didn't know if it would make a difference; 

 

for while all love is beautiful 

i feared a love unrequited. 

 

 

 

 

& yet it died

 

  

i always wanted a love 

so enduring and enchanted 

as Aragorn and Arwen, 

but perhaps with a little less angst; 

 

perhaps a love more like the 

one Eowyn found— 

 

all i know is you were the brightest 

sun i have ever met, 

and more than anything i wanted 

to be your moon; 

 

and i didn't know how to express 

that to you— 

 

i didn't know how to confess 

my feelings for i was  

trying so hard to deny who i was, 

 

when i was younger 

a boy took his own life for all the  

bullying he received for being gay; 

 

i guess i was afraid of killing my 

relationship with you— 

 

& yet it died, anyway.

  

 

 

 

song of sunlight

 

  

when i looked up 

rose finches, 

i was both thrilled and surprised 

they were truly real; 

 

and then i thought of you— 

 

if you were a bird, 

that is what you'd be; 

i know it— 

 

you simply walked into my life, 

taught me so much, 

introduced me to new things, 

shows, books, movies, 

and perspectives; 

 

if life is a stage then i am  

walking in a tragedy without you— 

 

my love is enduring, 

and though we do not speak any  

longer; 

i know it will not die— 

 

felt you once in the song of sunlight 

dancing in the wood, 

and sometimes i wonder if we look at 

the same moon. 

 

 

 

 

echoes of you

 

  

i remember when  

you grabbed my hand 

within your own, 

and it sparked something 

in me that i didn't know 

how to quash or quell; 

 

i always found you beautiful 

even before i fell for you— 

 

i remember you showed me 

how ballerinas toes  

weren't pretty because of how 

you were forced to stand 

in those shoes; 

 

but the way you danced into my life 

you could've been kin of Legolas 

or Galadriel— 

 

you were a song of sunlight 

that my soul refuses to forget, 

once as i sat writing a pink sunset 

washed over me kissing me with 

echoes of you. 

 

 

 

 

haunting dream

 

  

were you to stand by 

me tomorrow and accept 

every apology i would 

stand in stunned silence, 

yet appreciation; 

 

i know you don't owe me 

anything but i felt i owed you 

explanation— 

 

i find joy when i see pink sunsets 

though i never liked them before  

i met you, 

but the colour pink seems lovely 

in all of her shades now; 

 

she may not be my favourite but  

i will always think of you— 

 

remember when we saw 

that purple butterfly 

or when you gave me a pink rose? 

remember when i starred in your 

theatre production, 

and when we went to Dracula's ball? 

 

i cannot tell you when my heart 

fell for you, only that she did; 

 

and once i had a dream 

that you forgave me and i woke 

up smiling only to realize it  

wasn't real and you were  

not here and you hadn't forgiven me. 

 

Linda M. Crate (she/her) is a Pennsylvanian writer whose poetry, short stories, articles, and reviews have been published in a myriad of magazines both online and in print. She has twelve published chapbooks: A Mermaid Crashing Into Dawn (Fowlpox Press - June 2013), Less Than A Man (The Camel Saloon - January 2014), If Tomorrow Never Comes (Scars Publications, August 2016), My Wings Were Made to Fly (Flutter Press, September 2017), splintered with terror (Scars Publications, January 2018), More Than Bone Music (Clare Songbirds Publishing House, March 2019), the samurai (Yellow Arrowing Publishing, October 2020), Follow the Black Raven (Alien Buddha Publishing, July 2021), Unleashing the Archers (Guerilla Genesis Press, August 2021), Hecate's Child (Alien Buddha Publishing, November 2021) fat & pretty (Dancing Girl Press, June 2022), and Searching Stained Glass Windows For An Answer (Alien Buddha Publishing, December 2022). She has three novellas and four full length poetry collections. Her debut book of photography Songs of the Creek (Alien Buddha Publishing, April 2023) was published in spring of 2023.