Lady Bluebeard
Quid pro
Quo
Lady of a million
snowy linens, gold plate,
and jewelled goblets—
greed for gold
turned your fair
countenance green,
white, your flowing
hair of tarnished
gold beneath
your towering headdress,
blue, your pubic purse.
Tell me, what did you find
in that forbidden room in yonder eastern
gallery of damask ottomans, curiously
wrought cabinets, richly embroidered
antimacassars, and baroquely
gilded mirrors?
(Nothing, my Lord. Nothing
at all.)
Lady Bluebeard,
Where is your husband?
(Why, he has gone hunting for the day—
Why dost thou ask?)
Where is the key
to the forbidden room?
(Anne, sister Anne,
do you see anyone coming?)
She sits all day atop
her castellated tower
watching dust settle upon
empty roads, the moon drip blood
through haggard trees.
(Sister Anne, sister Anne,
signal haste to our brothers.
Oh, why aren’t our brothers coming?
Wherefore thy silence,
Sister Anne?)
She combs her dirty hag hair with a gold
gap-toothed comb, rubs a little gold key
between bony fingers, moaning, “Sister
Anne, Sister Anne,
O morning star of
highest heaven.”
Lady Bluebeard, did you know
that your sister is now a madly
mirthful strumpet? She will not hearken to your
useless genuflections, and your brothers
will never come, for their bones are
crumbling
in the family vault with the excrement of
the years.
Mad mother of a million miscarried days
and stillborn Sabbath nights, she sees
the blood crawl over marbled
floors—hears the order to remove
her silken robes, unfasten her baroque
girdle, and take her place among the
others.
She hears the serial bastard’s endless
incantation,
“Wipe, wipe—
thy tears of remorse
are all in vain,”
her hair a bunch of
dirty gold in his
angry fist,
“Strike, strike—
the final hour,
commend thy soul to God.
Anne will watch her sister die
as the cock crows its zenith hour.”
Blind silver blur—
a million horses trample
flying hooves and
apocalypse of sound
Eustachian blood
roars cataracts and
Swoon of fiery stars
(Sister Anne, Sister Anne…)
Postmortem Inquest
Bailiff:
How died the very first
Lady Bluebeard?
Coroner:
She died at the cruel hand
of her wrathful Lord.
Bailiff:
What provoked the ire of
her unnaturally cruel
Lord?
Coroner:
Excess spleen
unmanly grief and
jealous attachment.
Bailiff:
Duly recorded for
our Magistrate
who will consider
all these things.
She ran wild with her sugar daddy’s
horses through sunflower fields
at high noon. The Texas sun burned steady gold heat through
naked
soles, and wayward wind tangled dirty
blonde hair.
Horizons shimmered endless summer
days—apples
falling into checkered laps, strawberries
drowning in fresh cream.
Newly laid eggs hatched breakfasts in
quivering dawns, and frail colts shivered
for the weaning, tethering and breaking
beneath iron hands. Cathy was a very fine thing,
blonde debonair purchase for the lonely
old man marooned on
his Texas ranch. He gave the orphan girl Godiva
chocolates packed in ice, golden keys to
chandeliered rooms,
closets shimmering sequined dresses. Still, she would whisper
into the moonwashed night a little ditty
of her own:
“I am so lonely,
so very lonely—
will no one come
and save me?”
So, he gave her everything she could want
for a few minor sickbed ministrations
upon very precisely worded
instructions (sequestered behind
heavy breathing
damask drapes &
perspiring hothouse flowers).
Oozing bedpan stench, leathery
gooseflesh,
cadaverous bone—washaway all in early
morning mists and shimmer beneath flyaway hooves—and once again she was blonde
Godiva rising on the heels
of dewy dawn—riding
all those pretty, pretty horses
blowing silky manes and tails.
Twenty years later, the gnarled apple
trees
bore no more fruit; thick brambles
choked strawberry fields, and sunflowers
hung
their weedy heads. Dry winds swept forlorn
feathers through deserted
chicken coops
(But where are all those pretty,
pretty horses? Why,
they must have run
away—run far away from home!)
They say a disheveled hag ghost wanders
through these forgotten parts when mist
obscures new moons
and the lonesome traveller’s sudden
step startles midnight birds.
The ghost throws back her head and
laughs—a highball tinkling
in her bony hand, her nightdress
unraveling
ribbon shreds—her hair a dirty moonlit
tangle.
Her plaintive voice calls out to him:
“I am so lonely,
so very lonely—
will no one come
and save me?”
Midwives whisper to each other, plucking
fat
guinea hens—stuffing them for Sunday
roast.
Midwife 1
Y’all know what happened
to that sleazy old millionaire guy?
Midwife 2
That sly vixen, Cathy, must’ve done
him in, all right.
Midwife 1
Yeah, but what about the will?
Midwife 2
Everything given over to her.
Midwife 1
So of course, she’d run a brothel
that flopped bigtime.
Midwife 2
Yeah, that heavy-duty drinking
didn’t help none.
Midwife 1
All slipped through her lily-
white fingers. So what’s she up to
these days?
Midwife 2
Heaven knows.
Midwife 1
She still runnin’ wild?
Midwife 2
That’s what they say.
Midwife 1
And the ghost—that be her?
Midwife 2
God knows.
The candle stub in her
faltering hand shed
hot wax tears on
the sleeping prince—
the spillage was
her undoing—dissolving
maidenhead of her blinking
eye, binding her
in oppositional directions: East of the Sun,
and West of the Moon. She
bundled her three clean,
well-mended dresses, wrapped her
braids three times round
her drooping
head, and the East Wind lifted her up—
blowing her toward the three
other points of the wildly
spinning compass till she landed
with a painful thud
before the castle
that stood East of the Sun,
and West of the Moon, her
rude awakening was
her interaction with her rival,
the pimping troll princess with the extra-long
nose
and her indecent proposal
to exchange nights with her
fiancé, the prince, for any gold
thing the maiden had handpicked along the long
winding windblown way
till it all
culminated in a shirt-washing contest (no Clorox)—
washaway the residual stain of desire like a
good, Christian maiden (whiteness and
virginity being
the only acceptable qualifications for inheriting the gold and silver kingdom
through the awakened prince),
now
cross-eyed; one eye looking toward the east, the other, toward the west, the
gaze of both eyes converging at the tip of his shapely nose.
The laundry contest winner, the maiden
unleashed her golden hair—
bundled the prince’s three
other unwashed shirts to flee with him on the back of the North Wind—far,
faraway from the burning castle that had stood East of
the Sun, and West of the
Moon—sunlight spilling across the bleached horizon.
The Goose Girl
That Charmed Moment
Her
ivory neck drooped beneath
the burden of her dusty unravelling head-
dress—so long since she’d had a drink of
water.
“Lady-in waiting, will you stop
and give me some reprieve
to alleviate my burning thirst?”
“No, Milady, that’s a concern only you
can attend for your own self.” Their
horses plodded along at high noon—
the sun beating down upon the two women
(Did it not occur to the
Princess her lady-in-waiting and their
horses
would need some water too?) Survival of the fittest, they plodded along.
“Lady-in-waiting, I beseech you to stop.
I cannot proceed without some water.”
“Dismount, and get it yourself, bitch.
You got two good legs, haven’t ye?”
Her ivory neck drooped further still—
her headdress completely undone around
her sloping shoulders. They plodded on in
silence.
“Lady-in-waiting, stop
and give me some water, for surely, I
shall perish.”
“Fuck you, Milady.
Go get it yourself.”
The Princess slid out of her saddle—hot
tears blurring her blue eyes. She
bent over the flowing
river water, and the protective charm dropped from
her
bosom—floating away, breaking the spellbound hierarchy.
The Lady was no longer waiting
for that charmed moment,
and the Princess was no longer
a shielded vermilion virgin as they
exchanged
garments, horses,
names—plodding on toward
the King’s palace,
the sun no longer a gold beast of burden in the burnished sky, extracting
thirst from querulous throats.
The Silly-Goose Chase for “Happily
Ever After”
Arriving at the betrothal destination,
the decapitated Princess horse was named
“Falada,” and the Princess became
the Goose Girl—gold hair streaming in the
sun—combing away
—the wind being her friend—
Conrad’s coxcomb hat floating above fields of cackling geese—a
silly-goose diversion.
Free—
she was, picking up pearls like the
eyeballs of swine,
no longer the Princess
in jewelled chastity belts, no longer
the exorbitant chattel,
royal dowry item.
When the King got wind of these wayward
things in the fields, the one-eyed
strumpet broke
the pearly string of silent
days—and the charwoman burst out of the scullery,
the oven spitting out ashes.
Happily-ever-after was inevitable, of
course,
standard fairy-tale ending.
But not for the upstart woman (aka. Lady
who waited for that
charmed moment)—stout, persevering upward
mobility achiever,
whose naked spiked ass was not exactly
creamy Godiva’s.
The King acquired a wife;
The Goose Girl lost her freedom, and
Falada stopped speaking.
Hiromi Yoshida - Author of one full-length poetry collection and four poetry
chapbooks, Hiromi Yoshida is a finalist for the New Women’s Voices Poetry Prize, and a semifinalist for the Gerald Cable Book Award. While serving as a poetry reader for Flying
Island Journal, she coordinates the Last Sunday Poetry reading series for
the Writers Guild at Bloomington. Her second full-length poetry book, Green
Roses Bloom for Icarus, is forthcoming from Roadside Press in October 2024.
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