One Wonderful Poem by Julian Matthews

 

I am not an Xmas tree 

 

I am not a Christmas tree

To be pulled out of storage once a year

Trussed up and encircled with blinking lights

Decorated with baubles, ball ornaments, cheap glitter

and plastic pinecones

 

But some days, I do want to be your Christmas tree

On a platform or a stage, all lit

your glowing presence 

at my feet

 

I am not a snowman with a carrot nose

Hollows for eyes, twigs for hands

Your snowball target, 

eventually melting

and forgotten

 

But some days i wish I could be rolled up

in your warm hands, shaped anew, 

my poker smile, peeking through 

your morning window, tipping

my borrowed hat, as you pass by

 

I am not a Santa Claus 

A parent disguised as your benefactor

With a fake white beard, a pillow for a paunch

Your corner bell-clanger, your mall knee-warmer

With a dyed red suit and windup, repetitive ho ho ho

 

But some nights  I dream of coming down your chimney

Waking you up, introducing you to Dasher & Prancer, Cupid & Comet

Rudolph and his shiny snout

I'd wink, fulfill your wish and take you on a sleigh ride, 

across a twinkling night sky

And make you laugh out loud—

Genuinely, like you used to 

 

I am not your unwrapped gift 

I am not your mistletoe or the kiss under it

I am not your spiked eggnog

I am not your fruitcake

I am not your cookie

I am not your seasonal representation

of superficiality or passing fancy

 

I am your emptied giftbox

I am your heartache of loss and regret

I am your tired cliché of wants and needs 

Your missing guest, the knock on the door

that you long for which never comes

 

You were my child in a manger

My living star, my wise princess,

my little drummer boy

I am still in your corner

pining for you, my hope evergreen

for your healing — for my healing

Tinsel in a teardrop

A lone light, always on for you

to find your way home

 

Julian Matthews is a former journalist finding new ways to express himself through poetry and short stories. His poems have been accepted for publication in forthcoming issues of PB Magazine, Ireland and the American Journal of Poetry, USA. He is a regular open mic reader on Ireland Lunchtime Poetry, Nuyorican Poets Cafe, New York, Cobalt Poets, California, Perth Poetry Club, Australia, York Spoken Word, UK and KL Poetry Share. He is published in Beltway Poetry Quarterly, Second Chance Lit, New Verse News, Nine Cloud Journal, Sparked Literary Magazine, Autumn Sky Poetry Daily, CC&D Magazine, Borderless Magazine and WordsFest Magazine. He is based in Malaysia. Link: linktr.ee/julianmatthews