Three Poems by Marie C. Lecrivain

 

Always One Step Ahead

I wish my days weren’t filled with dread.

Grief’s always one step behind.

All my friends and loved ones are dead.

My anxiety is tendered and fed

with nightmares of the worst kind.

I wish my days weren’t filled with dread.

At night, sorrow comes into my bed

with promises both cruel and blind.

All my friends and loved ones are dead.

At dawn, I wake with an empty head,

hope’s gone, and memories data mined.

I wish my days weren’t filled with dread.

I don’t want to be the last one led

back to the wheel, karma reassigned.

All my friends and loved ones are dead.

The day when no more tears are shed

I’ll gladly undo the ties that bind.

I wish my days weren’t filled with dread.

All my friends and loved ones are dead.

Ares Vallis

I used to think Hades would be like this;

the absence of blue, green, white, 

water, trees, rams, and clean winds

fragrant with the aromas of fish

and mermaids.

In the landscape where the cosmos 

pulverized nature into submission,

I’ve become a philosopher of sorts -

it was either this - or madness. 

I’ve had time - deep time - 

to become one with 

the bombast of silence 

that surrounds me.

I’ve listened long enough 

to hear my own voice

answer back.

Ares Vallis (II)

I keep coming back here.

Perhaps the silent stones

are the only true friends

I’ve ever known.

This is where I rage - and weep, 

where I search for answers 

to my unasked questions, 

and where I fall into

a chthonic slumber

in the dusty deep.

This is where I come

to find forgiveness,

for my immortal sins,

so long forgotten,

by everyone but me.

Marie C Lecrivain is a poet, co-publisher of Sybaritic Press, and an ordained priestess in the Ecclesia Gnostica Catholica, the ecclesiastical arm of Ordo Templi Orientis. Her work has appeared in California Quarterly, Gargoyle, Lothlorien Poetry Journal, Nonbinary Review, Orbis, Pirene's Fountain, and other journals. She's authored several books of poetry and fiction, including Ashes to Stardust: A David Bowie Tribute Anthology (c 2023 Sybaritic Press).