Tuesday, 6 February 2024

Five Poems by Susan Wilson

 



Just Turn the Volume Down!


They come out in their loud strip bouncing a great big ball

to play their game on my pitch, without my permission

as if it’s okay. I bet the thought never enters their heads

that it isn’t. I don’t even like the game.

 

No coin is flipped. They just start and score goals I cannot save.

They win all the time. They don’t decide to, they just do it –

it must be a biological thing – and they love the roar of their crowd

with that regular thumping in the stands, like a heartbeat

that overtakes my own. It’s threatening in a primal way.

That must be why it hurts so much.

 

It’s game over as soon as it begins and no free kicks for me.

That referee must be blind and deaf. Why doesn’t he stop the game?

It’s what I need. I’ve read that predators can smell weakness

and yes, I’m sweating but it’s just not fair.

I pay the penalty for being quiet and considerate.

 

They kick their ball through my wall

and they literally kill me in every corner.

I’m shouting die! die! die!

and they ask why? why? why?

 


Prunes and Prisms


She is imprisoned in her own time.

Daylight steps through wrinkled glass

to point its coloured fingers at her wall.

She remembers the primrose bouquet

and its scent unlike her heavy garments,

thirsty for clean water. A drying fruit.

Sadly sewn buttons have replaced a bow.

Gentle lines are drawing themselves

onto a face that hides the missing teeth.

No room for a smile, only a quiet voice

with words that will make her lips pretty.

 

Posed to instruct, poised as instructed,

she is exactly what they tell her to be,

enrolled between servitude and family,

with manner and appearance prim

and behaviour correct. Nothing else.

In her role, to be formal is a formality.

She dignifies herself in happy solitude

where she remains the property of others.

Her rebel nature is laced into the corset,

the pain of its ouch whispering an itch

as she scratches the slate of young minds.

 

The lesson has ended for the day

but she continues to learn her own.

A pursing breath puts out her candle

to leave no light for his broken mirror

and no reflection of her lips to admire.


 

Control


Broken claws of silk, filed into wildness, hear my empathy.

Your blood is patched onto every branch as you smile

from tree to tree. Hidden, you have found yourself

and now you show me where you are. Every

where. Why can’t I heal? I want to help.

Scratched by bushes, drowned in pools, hung from trees,

nothing works. Painless days are my history. I touch you

but no cure. A slipping grip, grease on my handle.

I am pounced upon, I look around and see nothing.

So much hurt in so many strange places.

Why do you remind me of how sad I really feel?

I’ll wait another hour and then I’ll eat.

Control at last.


 

Erosion


A life is conceived from dust to form a rock, ready for the

roughening breezes of the wind, the cutting mists

of the rain and the burning breaths of the sun.

It is small in the eyes of a sky in a world of

hands pushing and pulling. Its resistance

bleeds a falling pebble. Then another.

It adapts to new profiles, chipped or

smooth. Years advance around it,

seasons scar its face. Fracture

follows fracture into frailty,

until its sinking strength

sighs into the dust.

Gone.



Conceit


is so puffed up,

let’s stick a pin in it

and explode its myth.




Susan Wilson lives in East London and began writing poetry following the death of her mother in 2017. Her poems have been published by Lucy Writers, Snakeskin, Runcible Spoon, Dreich, Areopagus, Streetcake, Rue Scribe, Amethyst Review and Lothlorien. Prior to the pandemic she was a regular performer at “Spineless Authors”, a local open mic event. Her debut chapbook is “I Couldn’t Write to Save Her Life” (Dreich, 2021).


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