Yellow Man And His Blue Father
Short Story
by Edgar Rider
At the time my best friend Mike and I were growing weary of working at the hamburger factory.
Mike was a stand up comedian who had a big finisher of calling himself a dyslexic on coke. Instead of inhaling it he would blow it out all over the table. Him and his dad laughed extra hard at this but everyone else mildly chuckled.
We were two disgruntled employees. I stole beer and Mike took plenty of vodka.
We made lots of stupid comedy videos on our day off and used the Public Access Channel every once in awhile.
Soon We were hanging out less and less. He called me one day and asked me to go to the doctor. He said “I need to pick you up and we need to talk.”
He arrived at my apartment complex. I turned around as I got in his car and was completely in shock discovering he had turned a peculiar shade of yellow.
He told me, “I got a condition called Jaundice dude. It is because of my drinking and my father has been diagnosed with tuberculosis.”
He said anyone who was in contact had to go get tested for tuberculosis. I wasn’t worried about tuberculosis but was unsure about the Jaundice situation. Never seen anybody with that condition. After all, I was drinking a lot too. His poison was Vodka and my poison was Bud Light.
We went to the health clinic. I felt a sharp prick to my finger and that was it.
On the way home, Mike took a sip from his styrofoam cup. I wondered what was in it. He looked down again struggling to put it in the cup holder.
“ Before I drop you back home I gotta make a stop first dude.” We pulled up in front of the main library. It had five floors. We got in the elevator Mike started humming the bad pop song in the elevator which sounded like Macarena.
We ran through the library. Eventually we ended up at a section of books. I became very curious as to what he was searching for.
“Here it is huh huh.” he picked up a book “Gary Updell huh.” He looked at it more thoroughly. “Wrong one.”
I only had one question for Mike,“Who the hell is Gary Updell?”
“My dad’s favourite author. Author of Warlocks of Oakland and Go Horsey Go. I promised him I would get the newest one. Here it is.” He showed it to me ‘Legend of Pigeon Droppings’.He grabbed the book and chuckled running toward the elevator.
On the drive home, Mike was quiet. Suddenly, he laughed and said. “ That movie you loaned me was pretty sweet. What was it called Basin Hounds. I liked the ending of. I liked how they used various japanese weaponry on each other. Shurikens, Stilettos and throwing stars so cool. However, Me and my dad could have done without all the F words..” He paused and reflected for a serious moment. “The only one who got away was Mr. P.”
“Mr. P” I said right back to him and we both laughed.
The next day I went to the clinic. And found out I was fine. No TB.
I didn't see Mike much after that until one day when I walked into the bathroom and he was standing there. He had a knife in his hands and was twirling it around. He laughed and told me his father was dead. He said he looked in his chair and his father wasn't moving. He was still talking to him. He then knew he was dead because he turned a lighter shade of blue. I found it odd that he was chuckling about his father’s death. It seemed like all of us were becoming detached from our surroundings.
“Poke. Poke.” He said illustrating and finally realizing that his father had passed. He continued laughing which went back and forth between amusing and then became quite disturbing.
Just as I was about to ask a question, he faded into the dark. Never saw him again. Another burger casualty. This experience was like being in an adult messed up cartoon. I imagined the yellow man talking to his blue father who had already passed.
It was one of those seemingly ordinary monotonous events become extraordinary life and death lessons. It occurred to me that it was like being in a True Tall Tale or what you might call a Real Life Fable living in the Charred Fried Works.
Edgar Rider has been published in Scarlet Leaf Review, Lothlorien Poetry Journal, Jake the Anti Literary Journal, Criterion International Journal and Thin Slice of Anxiety. He has published three books, Go Bare Maximum, 5990 and Transcending in the Fictional Burrout.
