Dear
Diary
"poorly written fictional diary entries"--review of my poetry by professor, writing at
amazon.com.
Snow falls without a sound and covers cars, roads, and houses. Flakes the size of leaves, napkins, pancakes...Draped like white overcoats on the hedge--encrusted on telephone lines drooping from the weight. Three prongs of the tall bush outside my window have bent like old people with scoliosis. Looking like probing wormy creatures out of a Lovecraft story...Two prongs still standing wear snow-caps of Klu Klux Klan hoods. One of the hoods has eye holes. The sky looks like the underside of an aluminum frying pan.
Blew $120 buying scratch-off lottery tickets--after I'd won $150. A kind of madness seized me as I went store to store buying tickets...I feel chastised by my "foolishness." Hope I have hit some kind of gambling bottom. Gambling, for me, is like taking a drink of alcohol: immediately, I need another, another, anudder...Try and get that win again--feel the thrill of a big win (or small one)--chase that thrill--stuff the bills won into my wallet and walk lopsidedly for half a day or so before breaking into the bank, and looking for the thrill, again.
Whenever writing a short story you must become a God. The story you create is the world--your world. Your baby. Him, her, er, fashioned as you will. As you would. And without explanations of any kind. A God need not explane, explain, anything.
The tree outside my window has the Blight--every leaf is spotted--call it Old Blighty, like England, which once ruled the waves, and now rules nothing.
The day has sprung as if from the garden the birds are dive-bombing; the sky gray, as usual around here, but a glimmer of hope on the horizon--white fringe of the albatross rising--slight brightening in the east too, but, in the west, a beastly Himalayan cloud moving in like a manatee in stagnant water.
The clerk at Price Chopper Market tells me she is from Pakistan. Also tells me she speaks Urdu, which, she says, is the same as Hindi. She tells me how to greet someone in Hindi but it is too much of a mouthful for me to repeat, or remember.
Same movie out my window this morning--never changes much. A foot of snow on the roof of the porch below. Big tee-pee-shaped bush next door thinning out: I am worried about that bush: could be the big-C. I dunno. Too thin, wizened; can see right through it. Big Hercules tree of brawny arms in the distance--3 houses away. One day I asked a guy raking around the tree how old the thing was. He stared, owl-eyed; finally said "I don't know," and went back into narcolepsy as I moved on to less interesting subjects,like a mailbox, a catch basin, a hunk of quartz crystal rock on a lawn, and, half a mile distant, a girl's ass (I used my telescopic vision to scope-out).
Big balloon of a Super-Moon shining through my window like nobody's business: that huge bulbous fraud is owning the sky tonight, and me.
Art
Groupie
I am
standing at the window of a restaurant across the street from a white church on
a lawn of neon-green grass. I used to live in this village. A first floor
efficiency, mattress on the floor, a 12-inch black & white television--that
I watched the NBA playoffs on (Baltimore Bullets vs: ?). My name then was No
One. The girl whose house the art group I belonged to met at called me
"Duane" (not "Wayne"). Her boyfriend made drip paintings,
drop by drop, from off the top of a bunk bed, canvas on the floor. I was more
alone then, at age twenty-one, than ever, and could not stand my own company
for long...I called my grandmother long distance just to hear a familiar voice.
A heavyset girl in the group invited me to her apartment to look at her
drawings of flying penises; I wondered afterward if it was a come-on--maybe I
would have responded if she were thirty pounds lighter...Maybe not. Arthur was
the star of the group: a small guy, glasses, and always with a tuft of hair
under his nose, where he'd failed to shave. He had published a book--a car
manual, but--still, none of the rest of us had published anything. I lived in
that room all summer; until I became a student again, and lived in a dormitory
room.
from
Haiku-You!
my
repetitive obsessional dreams
make
me wonder if
I am
human or machine
walk
past the pizza parlour
just
for the
smell
of it
hot
sun
(sing)
fi-nal-ly it's happening
Indian
Summer
sun
rose yellow
pose-y
in the
sky
new
summer play: The Ice Machine Runneth
Note
The
sun breaks through
chunks
of obsidian
in a
stormy vaporous
burst
immaculate
exception
of
some dreaming
otherness
that
speaks in
stupendous
ennobled
images--
Olympian
vistas
to
house the
gods.
Poem
Diagnosed
with terminal
uniqueness,
outlook bleak,
character
weak (ened); my
book
rejected by Moron Publishing
Inc.--they're
dinks. Who
wants
to go back to the
drawing
board? Not I, said
the
spider to the fly--besides, I am
sticking
to this flypaper like glue, oh
my,
the spider broke loose and
valk
valk, valked on vy i i...Wearing
eight
new shoes.
Wayne F. Burke's poetry has been widely published in print and online (including in LOTHLORIEN Poetry Journal). He is author of eight published full-length poetry collections, one short story collection, and 4 works of nonfiction--including HENRY MILLER, Spirit & Flesh, and BUKOWSKI the Ubermensch, Cyberwit.net., publisher. He lives in Vermont (USA).
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