Hemingway and my mother
I
slept soundly on Sunday. Other days I was not able to get enough sleep. The
thought of not being late for work was preventing me from sleeping. On the
other hand, breakfast was not going as
planned. I hurried to my office in the center of the district with a briefcase
in hand, sipping a cup of milky coffee and hanging a tie around my neck. On
Sundays, I was able to breathe freely, lying in bed for a long time, and having
breakfast with my family quietly.
The
same thing happened this weekend. When I woke up, I didn't get up immediately.
I lay on the couch looking out of the
window, leaning against a fluff pillow.
Outside, the yellow leaves of the trees were rustling in the cold autumn breeze, and the pleasant
chirping of birds applauding autumn was being heard.
My
wife, Nozima had already gotten up and
gone out into the yard. It occurred to me that for some reason she couldn’t sleep all night. She lay from side to side as if she couldn't fit
in my hug. When I got up and came to the window thinking so, I saw her in the yard. She was sweeping the yard barely
with a big belly…
Watching
her, I involuntarily remembered yesterday's events, which were related to
Hemingway's book. When I came home from work yesterday, my mother was not in
her room (when I came home from work, I used to visit my mother’s firstly). The
lights were on and the door was ajar. I couldn't find my mother when I went in,
so for a while I didn't know what to do in the middle of the room. In the
meantime, the thought came to me that I should go to her bedroom and knock on
her door a couple of times. I knocked.
No one answered. After a while, footsteps were heard from the yard.
“Mother
is in the library,” said Nozima, nodding through the door.
When
I entered my personal library, my mother was sitting there, wearing
brown-rimmed glasses and reading diligently on a chair near the desk. Seeing
me, showed the book in her hand.
“Hemingway!”
she said proudly. The book in her hand was a novel, " A Farewell to Arms” by
Hemingway.
“All
right,” I said, smiling at her and
sitting down on a chair in front of the table.
My
mother took her eyes off the book and asked me how I was and how I worked.
Looking at my face she said that I was worn out. It was now her constant habit.
“I
have recently read a book by this author, “ she said, taking the book in her hand again. “It's about
an old man who went to the sea and fished. I liked that book.”
She
tried so hard to remember "The Old Man and the Sea," and when she
recalled, her beautiful face suddenly lit up.
“The
name was "The Old Man and the Sea". You’ve read that book, have you?”
“Sure,”
I said, rubbing my sunken eyes and
wearing a smile again. “ When the story in that book went on for a while, I
would push the old man into the sea.”
“You
shouldn't joke about books like that,” said my mother, looking at me through
her glasses as if giving me reproof. At that moment Nozima entered the room.
“I
served the meal. Will you eat before it gets cold? “ she asked me.
Each
time I returned home late from work, I often had dinner alone. This time I had
to eat alone, too.
“Bring
it here,” said my mother frowning,
answered
instead of me. “ Move quickly. Your
husband is hungry.”
“Don't
do that, mummy, “ I said when she left. “You've been arguing with her since she
was pregnant. Look, she's only just walking.”
“You
don't know, “ she said, taking off her spectacles. “ Ever since she got
pregnant, your “Ph.D. student” (my
mother always said like this behind Nozima’s back) has been working more
slowly.”
“She's
pregnant, “ I told her, giving a reason to calm down. “That's why she's having
difficulty with housework.”
My
mother stared at me as if she didn't understand.
“Don't be on her side. I was more agile than her
when I carried you in my womb.”
Nozima
came in, cleared a table with stacked books, laid an ivory-colored tablecloth
on it, and brought meal from the kitchen
in a bowl with bread, as well as hot tea in a teapot. My mother ignored her and
continued reading the book from where it came from.
“I'm
very interested in this book, “ she said, shaking her head.
She
was halfway through the book. I had dinner quietly. Mastava* was delicious. I
ate it with gusto glancing at the
colorful cover books on the table. Sipping my hot black tea, my mother stood
up.
“Tell
your wife if you need anything, -“ she said, carrying the book under her arm. “
I don’t marvel at your “Ph. D student” at all. She doesn’t sit next to you when you come home. I used to
sit in front of your father when he came home from work. I stared at his mouth,
wondering if he wanted anything else, by providing what he asks for.
“Nozima
has no experience yet,” I said, eating
mastava, holding the spoon in the air.”
“You're
overindulgent. You keep smiling at everything like that.”
My
mother left disagreeing. By the time Nozima came in, I had already eaten.
Meditating I drank my tea overmuch.
“How
is your health? “ I said, turning my attention to her. She stood by me and
began to tidy up the table.
“Thank
you, it's tolerable. I can scarcely do
the house chores.”
As
the fetus grew older, it began to squeeze the liver. The doctor who diagnosed her told me about it, so I was worried about
her every day. She had become tired of physical labor quickly, had difficulty
with breathing, and at times writhed
grabbing her right flank.
“It
would be better if you rest more, “ I said hugging her around the waist and
cradling closer to me.
“It
will pass if I bear two months , “ she said , pressing my
head to her bosom. Then I embraced her
tightly.
“Don't
be upset with my mother.”
She
lowered her head.
“I'm
used to it.”
“Do
not write your dissertation for a while.”
“I
have to write...”
…
I had breakfast a bit late. In the dining room, my mother was reading
Hemingway's book just like yesterday. For some reason this time she was reading
the book with tears welling up on her face through her glasses. This bothered
me. I wondered something must had happened to her.
“Poor
Catherine! “ she said ( I couldn’t differentiate whether she was talking to me
or not). “Poor Catherine! She passed away . She died, poor girl. My daughter
died. She gave birth to a child and perished.”
At
first I wondered what my mother was saying. I realized after a while. She was
still impressed by Hemingway’s novel. From her words, it was noticeable that
she was approaching the end of the book.
“The
war destroyed her,” my mother continued crying. “Lack of care, negligence
ruined her life.”
Instead
of wiping her tears, she was crying one moment looking at the book in her hand,
the next at the table. Soon she calmed down and began to stroke the book. Anon
she wiped away her tears, straightened up, and put a piece of bread on the table
in her mouth.
“Your
wife doesn't even bring hot tea on time,” she said, turning her
face to me chewing on the bread.
I
remembered Nozima setting fire to the kumgon*
to boil water when I’m getting here.
“Mum,
“ I said, leaning my
hand on the table and addressing my mother woefully. “What would we do if Nozima died like Catherine?”
My
mother stopped chewing bread and her face paled.
“What
do you mean by that? God forbid!”
“Just
saying that Nozima is pregnant like Catherine , too.”
“The
events in the book happened during the war, “ she protested. “ That's why the
poor girl wasn't taken care of.”
I
got up and came closer to the window not caring her finish. In front of the uchog *, Nozima was still waiting for the water in the
kumgon to boil in cold outside.
“As
the fetus grows, it’s crushing Nozima’s liver, “ I said, turning to
my mother and giving my face a serious look. “That's what the doctor said. She
needs to do less housework and rest more.”
When
my mother heard the real condition of her daughter-in-law, she involuntarily
bit her lip and fell silent. Neither she said a word, nor asked a question.
“Now
is not wartime, “ I carried on . “So we can give her a little care and
affection.”
When
Nozima brought the tea, she was still keeping silent, her face was changed, she
was in a bad mood, and the book in her hand was on the edge of the table. When
she saw Nozima coming in the room with a teapot and a sigh, she suddenly raised
her head and looked at her with a heavy heart. I saw inner sorrow in her eyes for her. She looked at me and
whispered softly:
“You
are right, now is not wartime .”
Definition:
*Kumgon
( qumg'on in uzbek language) – is a kettle used in the past to boil water by
setting fire.
*Mastava–soup
with rice and meat
*
Uchag ( o'choq in Uzbek language, очаг)
– a place on the ground to boil or cook a meal.
Translated into English by Sitora Shomurodova
Sherzod Artikov was born in 1985 in the city of Marghilan of Uzbekistan. He graduated from Fergana Polytechnic institute in 2005. He was one of the winners of the national literary contest “ My Pearl Region “ in the direction of prose in 2019. In 2020, his first authorship book “ The Autumn's Symphony “ was published in Uzbekistan by publishing house “Yangi Asr Avlodi” . In 2021, his works were published in the anthology books called “ World Writers “ in Bangladesh, “Asia sings" and “ Mediterranean Waves “ in Egypt in English language. In 2021, he participated in “ International Writers Congress “ which was organized in Argentina , in the international literature conference under the name “ Mundial insurgencial cultural “ dedicated to Federico Garcia Lorca's life and work , in “ International Poetry Festival “ in Tunisia, in “ International Poetry Carnival “ in Singapoore and in the First International Proze Festival in Chile which was held under the name “La senda del perdedor”. This year he’s awarded “ Global Peace Ambassador “ by Iqra Foundation, “ International Peace Ambassador “ by World Literary Forum for Peace and Human Rights, “ Certificate of friendship “ and other certifications by “Revista Cardenal" in Mexico. Currently, he is the literary consultant of the cultural website of Pakistan “ Sindh courier “, the representative and delegate in Uzbekistan of the literature magazine of Mexico ” Revista Cardenal “ and the literature and art magazine of Chile “ Casa Bukowski “.
His works have been published in translation in numerous magazines and newspapers worldwide.
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