Inside the Waterfall
Looking for answers
To questions impossible to ponder
I need the world to stop
Just for a moment
So I can take a breath.
I find myself approaching the waterfall
Seeking the pounding rhythm
That might make my mind stop racing
Wishing I could crawl inside
And wash the pain away
So that it stops consuming everything in
sight.
Every day
It’s getting worse
And I search for a reset button
So that sanity might be restored
And there could be a blackout on the hate
That is leaving so many discarded like
roadkill
With unbearable levels of noise engulfing
them
So that no one can hear them pleading for
another chance at life
But the puppetmasters
Vociferously deny that anyone is speaking
And they continue to drown the rest of us out.
Origins
Her origin story
Was hidden
carefully
And wrapped up
tidily
In a neat little
box
That no one ever
knew about.
But sometimes
there were
Barely perceptible
dents in the corners
Where the frayed
ribbons strained to push their way out
Like mutineers
Thrusting their
way towards freedom.
After a lifetime
of learning to mask
The pain and hurt
that she was constructed from
And all the tears
that had found shelter
Behind her perfectly
formed smile
Panic would
smother her at the thought
That one rip of
the deceptively cheery tissue paper
Would change
everything
Bringing to light
the memories of events
That had once
destroyed her.
A sudden shift in the universe jolted through her
Shaking her awake
to the fact
That it was time
to discard the power the echoes still had over her
And accept the
strength of her own heart
So she yanked at
the ribbon
And shredded the
tissue paper, tossing it into the air
And as the
confetti rained down on her
She tilted her
head to search the sky
For the flecks of
light
That could lead
her home.
It’s 2:00 AM
It’s 2:00 AM
Again
In the endless
echo chamber
Where she resides
at night
And she knows she
should go to bed
But her body is
mired in quicksand
Unable to move
Since she knows
she will be facing one more night of emptiness
And a bed that’s
as welcoming as an unlined coffin.
There is no
consciousness of walking down the hall
Or changing her
clothes
Or lying down
With only a shiver
of moonlight peeking through the gauzy curtains to light her way.
Eventually, she
stops feeling around for her phone
As she wonders how
many hours she has been staring at the ceiling
Fruitlessly
searching for relief
But at some point
she falls into a restless sleep
And when she opens
her eyes the sun is struggling to rise above the clouds
And she thinks
there might have been dreams
But not the dreams
where happiness is dangling so close to her lips
That she can taste
it
But dreams where
she strains to breathe
Gasping like a
carp thrashing around on the bottom of a battered old boat
And she only stays
there to get away from the mocking thrum in her brain
And the tears that
dampen her pillow.
In the movies
Heat
Is so much sexier
Than in the real world
Kind of like everything else
Even when it’s in black and white
The film opens with the sun
Blazing unrelentingly
Onto the streets of a small town
With only a porch fan for relief
And the sultry female star
Reclines on a lounge with her face
perfectly made up
And there is a single bead of sweat
That slowly travels down her neck
To the first button of her blouse
Where it hovers undisturbed
While the tanned and muscled male lead
With his piercing ocean-blue eyes
Stares at her thirstily
As his skin glistens from the
Damp drops that cover his perfect frame
Without moving
And he licks his lips.
Then his eyes meet hers
Like a solar flare
And we can feel their hearts racing
Along with our own.
And then there’s a closeup
Of the softly whirring fans
But we know the oppressive heat is too
much
For any fan
Or even the icy glass of lemonade
She is rolling gently across her neck
Until he grabs the glass and brings it to
his lips
And he drinks her in.
She sits up languidly and moves towards
him
Like a cat
And despite the fierce glare of the sun
they come together
In the heat of desire
And they look so flawless
That we can all agree
That if the heat wave we’re broiling in
Was anything like what we’re watching on
the screen
Real life wouldn’t be so bad after all.
She
sits at the edge of the world
Where
the waves creep deceptively up to the shore
Their
tendrils almost reaching her legs
But
stopping just before they can coil around her like a snake
And
drag her down to their depths.
Her
arms are wrapped tightly around her knees
And she
rocks back and forth trying to find her way
Across
oceans and mountains
To
where it all began
And to
where she now belongs.
But in
spite of her efforts
The sky
blackens
As the
storm brews inside of her
And the
hurt churns until she can’t contain it anymore.
She
jumps up
And the
squall almost knocks her back off her feet
And she
fights her way across the sand
Hoping
to find a map
That
she can follow
But
when she takes shelter behind the dunes
She
turns to find that the breakers
Have
eliminated any sign of her footprints
And all
that is left
Is a
blank page.
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