Until the Light Fails
I find myself in the semi-darkness
on an overcast day in early spring
when a lone cardinal trills
a plaintive song to his mate but winter
is on the light flakes that have draped
the fragile crocuses and no robins skip
along the thin blades of last autumn’s lawn.
The wind warns of another icy night
where we are apt to lose our lights.
Just home from surgery I lean forward
in my chair before the window
squint to determine which neighbour’s car
rolls past as my mother did the many late
afternoons she sat alone
before her living room window.
Tucked into her recliner she would lean
forward as she searched the open patches
of lawn for an unlikely robin or to hear
a car she hoped would be mine or my brother’s.
She may have reached for her Miss Marple
on a nearby end table found her place
and read until the light failed and stretched
as far as her short arms could reach
to pull the curtains
beginning another long evening
as her adult children went on with our lives.
Uncapped
In a reoccurring dream I stand
before the door of a locked room holding a circle of rusted keys,
try each and find one allows me
to enter. The air I bring in sends dust motes into a
confused
dance: I listen for sound: a turned handle, knock, or footsteps, any
of which could herald Home
or breathe
life into these walls. Faded wallpaper of uncertain print remains there,
clinging
bravely, turned up at intermittent creases that I rip – under which
an arrow is scrawled in
grease pencil and points to a corner where a desk stands alone. Its
rolltop creaks when lifted,
almost in expectation. It offers an uncapped pen, which I hold above
a single, blank page.
They cascade over the face
of the fence with their green and periwinkle cornet locks, lean at odd
yet attractive angles,
necks falling toward amber, geranium-clad shoulders where mild buzzing
of gilt-striped visitors
momentarily pause, hovering higher in search of nectar and shady respite.
Finding it within full
trumpets, bees nuzzle deep into glories’ centers that rise up to accept these
golden attentions,
gratified beneath mid-morning beacons of light that tiptoe past Redwood
limbs that tower above.
I stand at the door of your childhood home,
and I think to myself, we draw breath from the same sky.
I seek brown eyes -- my eyes --and arms that draw me in,
offer ageless affection; I ache for insight
of the abyss that grows when children leave
and parenti* perish; I crave broad, Roman faces,
twinkling recognition, voices that croon dialect,
a sky that enfolds the house that still holds you and welcomes me.
The door has been removed, the concrete and stone structure
is wide open, but it is full. Ancient farm implements rest
where you once did. Back then, did you look up
into the same night sky, count the same stars,
dream of America, as I dream of returning to this same spot?
The newer house is
concrete, two floors rather than one, tiled not dirt.
You could have used all these rooms for your cousins, who had shared
the space.
How many of your father’s family have lived in that house, tilled the
land,
worked in the vineyard and olive grove?
Vittorio and Pierina build
on tradition as they build onto the house
for a returning son. They
look after the farm,
reduced in size over time –
acres sold to survive, droughts
and poor harvests, pay bills.
Camilla, Vittorio’s mother,
has recently died;
all but one child grown,
gone, settled, with families of their own.
The old and new homes stand
side by side.
At the inside door to the
outdoor kitchen,
plastic strips hang to
allow the air to flow,
to welcome the farm dog and
the cat who rides his back.
The stove uses gas not
wood; the storeroom is stocked with farina,
newly made pasta, salami, wine
lined up on the shelf,
awaiting sustenance and
celebration.
An attached dining room holds
a wooden table
beneath a roof of clay
tiles.
Even now there is much to
celebrate:
births, holidays, saints’
days – visits from American cousins.
Bread cools on the counter;
fresh basil, sautéed garlic,
and tomatoes simmer in the
day’s sauce.
A simple insalada mista has been prepared.
We sit down for la cena, finding
a table simply set;
red wine, salami, and fresh
bread wait, teasing appetites.
Oh, how I wish you were here.
Mary Anna Scenga Kruch has been a career educator and writer inspired by social justice, her Italian American family, and the natural world. She has led a monthly writing group for 10 years and Mary Anna has published a poetry chapbook, We Draw Breath from the Same Sky (2019), and a full-length collection, Grace Notes: A Memoir in Poetry & Prose (2021). Recent poetry appears in Wayne Literary Review, Trinity Review, and Ovunque Siamo. She is working on her next poetry collection, A Finely Penned Road. She hopes to return to her father’s homeland again in 2023.
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