The alone bird in the blue forest
I am alone
starling in
my fish-mouth
blue clouds gather inside
the inert chambers
of my heart
because you left
this chocolate croissant
is stale (tastes like
grave dust with a
cemetery heir)
must be heated up
for the sake of
the microwave
I perform a
litmus test on the
uncertainty of
a Boeing flight
and the photochemical
reaction that exits
two pondering
vessels of light
day and the moon
I say your name
as if you're standing
in the next room
I miss your kind of
love hugs but it's
a kind of incomplete
over that goes on
everlasting
what did you mean
when you said you
loved me and exploited
my body for your
mined pleasures
then you left
you vanished
I became a door
with my arm
a green branch
knotted with self-loathing
and grief
and picked up
an axe and did
that door in
until it hung off its hinges
and I was sated
sometimes I wonder
what married life
would have been like
with you
The angel tongue of a man who does not love me anymore
The mincemeat is defrosting
tears in my eyes
Pot on the table
Voices in a farm kitchen
An argument
between a husband and wife
A brother who calls me
disabled and mental
Ja, you couldn't keep a man
if you tried
That and so many other voices
Was it substance abuse
Sherry in your pudding
The marigolds are lovely, take them
Schizophrenic, snarls the man
His Jezebel wears her
Mona Lisa fake smile for me
cheap perfume
Is it my cheap perfume or hers
Voices
Hallucinations
Paranoia
Delusions of grandeur
No more love
Only the harvest of
golden-yellow sunflowers
Another summer on hold
Winter spent in high care
A lockup ward
in a mental institution
Babs never speaks to me
The mental basketcase
This word is used to
nullify me
Behave, he says, or the police
will be called
You will have a police escort
to your doom again
Nobody cares about my
Grinch life
Personal freedom
It tastes like ice cream
and flowing honey
Living like a recluse
I remember the men
How they came in numbers
In my twenties
But most of all I remember
the star signs and symbols
in a particular man's eyes
How they drooped in
the corners
How those corners crinkled
when he laughed or smiled
How he forgot about me
in a second
in a heartbeat
to grow old
to grow wise
to grow less sure of myself
to doubt my ego
how on this earth
in this world he left me
to remember his promise
Anemones and bee killers, darling
I am not safe here
I wait to be rescued
But no livewire man comes near
My glands are alive
and well and when
I eat them they dissolve in my mouth
like jelly candies
By Abigail George
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