One Poem by Antonia Alexandra Klimenko

 

When Your Body is No Longer Your Own 

 

They hand you a look   a label   a number 

a social identity that passes for you 

They call you they and them--   

Black people   poor people   gay people     other people  

They add on ‘’people’’ to distinguish you  

from White Western  male majority  

They add on ‘’people’’  

when to them you are merely livestock-- 

the fatted calf   a holy cow   

Bullshit after fucking bullshit! 

How ironic 

to bear the words ‘’choice beef’’ 

when they who were forced to carry  

had no choice      

How ironic  

to rejoice in the living   

when my sisters and I are dying 

 

I   anonymously yours 

am at a loss     

Coiled in my shell-- a cheap hotel   

or is it Hell ?—     

a crime scene tape I dare not cross  

Who is this woman in the mirror?-- 

a twisted metal hanger  in hand! 

Raped by a stranger   my skin no longer fits 

Dear God!!  

I no longer know   who I am 

 

I am afraid of my own reflection   

I may never make it 

to the other side of the frame   

never see my own children again  

I   the carbon copy of unnamed stars   of meteors 

Destiny's blueprint at my fingertips 

the Trinity stamped on my forehead 

my tongue stapled to the roof of my mouth 

a chain-link fence that keeps going South 

 

They hand you a look a label a number 

then point you in the direction of your shallow grave-- 

the one you carry with you    

the one in which you bury yourself 

a little deeper every day 

What identity is left                                                                  

is either inherited like a windfall    or a disease 

is a reasonable facsimile of an ad     

a commercial on TV   a Facebook Emoji J    

 

What identity is Left  

may be borrowed from the Right    

smacks of popular opinion    

late nite   date night  

Artificial Intelligence   Fox breaking news     

the romance novel you once read  

just before that illegal abortion in sunny Mexico  

The one that left you hemorhaging  

in some unmarked train station  

or forever boring smiles into other women’s children-- 

children whose souls you may recognize  

but never fully embrace  

 

What identity is left     

is a mirror   without a face                                       

without health care or a place to call home... 

when your body is no longer your own 

when your body is no longer your own 

What identity is left     

is you   humming   alone in the dark

is the echo of an echo   

is Light sailing to some distant shore 

is taking a vacation without you  

is reminding you   is reminding you   

that you still look good    

you still look damn good   

Red is sooo becoming !   

as you stand there dripping in blood 

 

What identity is left   

is as heavy as lead  

is patting you on the back 

is holding a gun to your head  

they guard your uterus better than assault weapons 

as your brittle (but genius original) bones  

are snapping in sync     

with your still cool    ever-breaking heart

Antonia Alexandra Klimenko was first introduced on the BBC and to the literary world by the legendary James Meary Tambimuttu of Poetry London–-publisher of T.S. Eliot, Dylan Thomas, Henry Miller and Bob Dylan, to name a few. his death, it was his friend, the late great Kathleen Raine, who took an interest in her writing and encouraged her to publish. A nominee for the Pushcart Prize and a former San Francisco Poetry Slam Champion, she is widely published. Her work has appeared in (among others) XXI Century World Literature (which she represents France) and Maintenant : Journal of Contemporary Dada Writing and Art archived at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C. and New York’s Museum of Modern Art. She is the recipient of two grants: one from Poets in Need, of which Michael (100 Thousand Poets for Change) Rothenberg is a co-founder; the second—the 2018 Generosity Award bestowed on her by Kathleen Spivack and Joseph Murray for her outstanding service to international writers through SpokenWord Paris where she is Writer/ Poet in Residence. Her collected poems On the Way to Invisible is forthcoming in 2022.